He gives strength to the weary...

November 9

I landed on American soil two weeks ago. The last few days I was in Uganda I didn't want to wish the days away, but I could not wait to get home to a clean shower, my bed, American food, paved roads, and a little bit of quiet time (the introvert in me was screaming inside for a little time alone!). At the same time I was dreading the moment that I would have to let go of the sweet hands I had the privilege to hold all week. I didn't want to leave the beautiful men and women who graciously welcomed us into their country and lives. I was scared to come back to a life where my dependency on God is so much less because I have so much more. And all of those things are the reasons that I have not yet been able to write about coming home. 

Since the minute we got on the bus to go to the airport my heart hurt as if I was losing someone I loved. Because I was. I had managed to get through the trip without tears, mostly because of some strange coping mechanism I have developed at work. Even on the worst nights at work I can hold it together until I hit the door of the parking garage. Then I lose it. I wasn't sure at what point I would "hit the door" on the journey home but I was not looking forward to that moment. Well, it happened when we circled up to pray with the kids right before we left the orphanage. From that minute on I could not hold it together. I was not crying because I felt bad for the kids or because I was homesick. I was crying because I didn't know when I would get to come back to this place I had grown to love. I already missed my sweet Vivian as I fervently prayed for her by my side. My mom sent me encouraging verses that I clung to on the plane ride home and reminded me that the Lord is in control, no matter what.

I am 99.9% sure that I needed those kids more than they needed me. I know that while I was there I literally gave all that I had to give spiritually, emotionally and physically. There were days that I thought that I couldn't wake up the next morning and go at it again. But those were the times that I completely relied on the Lord's strength and the love He put in me for those people. I am sure that if I had spent more time there that God would have continued to provide that. 

I know that I am now responsible for all that I saw and experienced in Uganda. One person cannot change a country, and in no way do I even want to try. But I know that the God that I believe in and rely on is the same God that provides for all His people time and time again. He will provide all the needs that I know of and all those that I don't. Transitioning back has been hard because I am trying to figure out my place in all of that. Each day gets harder. The more that the red dirt rubs off my shoes, fingers, and out of my nose the further I feel from Uganda. I teared up when I took my last malaria pill. I constantly feel so angry at people and situations that never stirred emotion in me before. I feel like a completely different person. And that is because I am. And I want to be. There is no way a person could experience Africa and not be changed. 

If you are reading this please continue to pray for me. I am trying to take baby steps in figuring out my place in this world, especially since I still have another 1.5 years in my contract at work. Most of my day is consumed with thoughts of Uganda and how to get back there. I know that God is good, all the time. He is faithful. His love never fails. And if it is in His will for my life I would love to be back in that beautiful country one day soon.

Do you not know?

Have you not heard?

The Lord is the everlasting God,

the Creator of the ends of the earth.

He will not grow tired or weary,

and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary

and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,

and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord 

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary, 

they will walk and not be faint.

                           

His mercies are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.

                                           

Having fun with these crazy kids at Ekubo

My three sweet girls! Teddy, Caroline and Vivian 

All good things must come to an end...

October 25

I don't even know where to begin this post for today because my emotions have been a complete roller coaster. I can't wait to be home. I've had a migraine. I don't want to leave. I can't wait to use a toilet and not have to check for bats or rats. I can't imagine not ending my day tucking in sweet little girls to bed. I can't wait for fall weather because I've been sweating since I've been here. I'm not ready to have to explain my trip to people. 

I'm praying so much that God will help me transition back to the US. My heart is breaking tonight knowing that all of these sweet kids at Canaan will go to bed tomorrow night by themselves, without special attention from anyone. They have already started crying tonight because we are leaving, so tomorrow is going to be very hard. 

Today we went to visit a tribe of people called the Karamjong. (I'm sure I misspelled that.) These women are refugees from northern Uganda. They escaped the brutality of the war and have become prostitutes here in Jinja. A man named Pastor Andrew started ministering to them a few years ago and the progress that these people have made is AMAZING. God has been working all over the place in their village. These women, who once sold their bodies away, now have a relationship with The Lord and have been restored. They once practiced witchcraft and worshipped whatever they thought to be a god. They know what it is like to be loved and valued by a living God. They are the lowest of the low in Uganda. Their children are made fun of in school because they look a little different. But these people have found their value in God. Their lives have been changed and it is so evident. Their prayer requests today were to have a market to sell their beads, for healing of sickness, and to know God more. They may be seen as dirt to the people of this world, but in our awesome God they have found hope, love and life.

We went back to Canaan Primary school this afternoon to give out lollipops and play with the kids. It was hard to say goodbye to some of the kids there, including my friend Kamya. He had just as hard of a time saying goodbye to m e as I did to him. I told them that because he has Jesus in his heart that if I don't see him again in Africa then I will get to see him in heaven. Lord, haste the day.

Please be praying for our travels tomorrow. It is a Muslim holiday and so there are a lot of nervous team members. I know that God's plans are perfect and I am praying that whatever happens in our day will bring Him the most glory.

Sangaalo

October 24

I have not yet cried in this trip, but today broke me. We went to Sangaalo baby home and I fell in love with that ministry. I don't even know where to begin in writing this post but I will try my best. We got to the baby home this morning and played with the kids. We fed them a snack and sat around outside with them. One little girl had a very high fever, runny nose and cough. We looked over and realized that she was seizing. Her seizure lasted about 5 minutes. It so so helpless to be sitting in the middle of nowhere watching a child seize and being able to do nothing. The only thing we could do was count the time and turn her on her side. We put cold rags on her forehead. Luckily they had ice so we were able to put that on her too. Damalie took her to the hospital while we and the aunties took care of the other kids. We then fed the kids lunch, helped bathe the and put them down for a nap. Then Damalie shared her testimony with us.

I know that I constantly talk about how amazing people are, but this woman is my hero. What she has followed God to in her life is incredible. I cannot type it all out but basically she came from nothing at all and now takes in babies who are abandoned. She currently has 13 babies in the home and is trying to place them in adoptive homes in Uganda or restore them back to their families if the social worker says they can. Her heart is to also start international adoptions but she does not have time to start this process right now.

This ministry has several needs right now. Some of them include Bumbo chairs, cloth diapers, sippy cups (American made), 12-18 month clothes and up (used or new), formula and more. If you feel that you can help this ministry please let me know and I will help you connect with her!

The other team just got back and told me that my friend Kamya wrote me a letter and sent it back with them. I am so excited to see it! 

Fun at Canaan Primary School

October 23

Today we visited Canaan Primary School. The schools here have classes P1-P7 for elementary school. They don't necessarily go by age, but P1 is first grade and so on. At the end of P7 they take an exam and if they don't pass they cannot move on in school, they can't get a job, and they are pretty much worthless at that point. They cannot retake the exam under the same name so if they do want to retake it they have to change their name. Because of all of this if they don't pass a grade they have to go back 2 grade levels. Canaan is a good school and they hardly ever have kids that don't pass the exam. It is also a cheap school so many kids attend, about 600. Each classroom has anywhere from 90 to 120 students (and only one teacher in each class!)

We went over this morning and acted out Bible stories for the younger classes.   I prayed a lot the night before about this because the whole day was completely out of my comfort zone. I also prayed for divine appointments because I didn't feel like I would connect with any kids that day. We had no plan for the day, it was all just whatever came to us at the time. Luckily it went pretty well. The kids went out for a break around 11 and there are ladies that sell snacks in the yard. Hardly any kinds have money to buy them but a few are able to. When I was standing around I looked over and saw a child who looked like he was in complete liver failure, most likely from malnutrition. His eyes were bright yellow, his arms and legs were as skinny as sticks, and his abdomen was very large and round. He also looked like he might have hydrocephalus.He was standing alone, behind a pole, eating a little bundle of fruit. As kids saw him they came up and begged for his fruit and little by little he gave it all away. This child looked like he had barely eaten a day in his life and he gave everything he had away. I am continually humbled as I learn from these kids.

I immediately was drawn to this kid. Possibly because I tend to be drawn to sick kids but I could not get over the fact that he gave away his fruit. That afternoon I made sure to reach out to this child and get to know him. He was quiet and a little shy but every child fights over holding a mzungu's hand so it didn't take long for him to open up to me. His name was Kamya. I asked if he had a mom and a dad and he did. He lived at home with 4 brothers and sisters. His parents do not have jobs but they grow bananas and try to sell them. He does not eat at home. His first question to me was, "Can you take me to America?" If I could have taken him right there I would have. He then asked, "Will you be my sponsor?" I was so brokenhearted for this child. Through more questions I learned that he needs a lot of medicine but they cannot afford to go to the clinic because they can't afford the medicine. He also wanted me to give him something to take home to show his mom, so I wrote him a little letter. 

He wanted to "escort" me back to the children's home and when we got back I told him I didn't know if I would see him again but that I would be praying for him always. I could not go to sleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about him. I am praying so hard that God will provide for him. My heart breaks for him and the millions of other kids that are in that same situation every day. I truly believe that was a divine appointment and that both my life and Kamya's life were blessed by our meeting. 

Ekisa

October 22

Today was possibly my favorite day here so far. We went to a special needs home called Ekisa today. This home was started by an American girl and a British girl, both named Emily, who met on different mission trips here in Uganda. Their passion for kids with special needs brought them together and they opened this home in 2010. They are in their early 20s and I can tell you that what they have done here is truly and very evidently the work of God. They currently have 22 kids in their home and have been able to employ 35 staff members from Uganda. They have the home staffed 24/7 and it includes nurses, a physical therapist and other caretakers. They also employ people with physical handicaps. This is very neat because in Uganda they would probably not get jobs otherwise. The kids disabilities range from Downs syndrome to hydrocephalus to severe genetic disabilities. This ministry deserves just as much press and attention as Katie Davis has had. They just need to write a book! Check out their website and the kids we were able to meet today at www.ekisa.org.

As today is coming to an end it is hard to believe that we only have three short days of ministry left here. My heart is longing to be in two places at once. I miss the conveniences of America. I miss not wearing bug spray 24/7. I miss my room and bathroom free of rats and malaria. I miss my family and friends. However, I'm going to have a hard time adjusting back to all of that at the same time. I'm going to miss this culture, the people and these kids. Most of all I hope that I don't forget what it feels like to rely on The Lord here and how close I feel to Him every day.

Church at Canaan

October 21

Sunday morning we got to teach Sunday school to the 8-11 year old kids here. My group taught the story of Zacchaeus and did a craft with them afterwards. Then we went to the church service. I think I caught a little glimpse of what heaven will be like. Hundreds of people were crammed into a small building with no air conditioning but their worship was not held back by any of those factors. Although I didn't understand most of the songs or prayers, I knew that The Lord was in the room. There were people from the surrounding village and those who are from Canaan Children's home. I've never seen people praise God like I did that day. The kids, as young as 10 years old, were down on their knees with their eyes tightly closed and smiles on their faces singing praises to God. I was moved in a way that I have never been before. Their worship brought me to tears of joy and I could not hold them back. All I could do was close my eyes and thank God for the incredible blessings in my life. I was so thankful to be in that very church, holding the hands of the little girls I have quickly come to love, while worshipping  my Creator alongside the African people. 

Sunday afternoon was a great day of much needed rest. Sunday night we were able to provide a feast for the kids including chicken, rice, cabbage, sodas and more. The kids were beyond excited to eat. We played for a while then tucked them into bed. It is such a privilege to know these little ones. Every time we pull up in the bus they are running to find you, and when they see you they point and shout and jump around until they see you and you get off to hold their hand. Their love makes all the bad things about being here seem so insignificant, and for that I am thankful.

A Saturday in Jinja

October 20

On Saturday our team started out at Pillars of Hope for the first part of the morning. We went to a warehouse type building to meet with Godfrey and the kids. They are currently 5 months behind on their rent for the building so there is a padlock on the door. They cannot get into their space until they catch up on rent, which is about $100 US a month. The problem is that this ministry is so new that it does not have supporters so Godfrey supports it out of his salary. Godfrey is a social worker in Uganda. He lives an hour away from his ministry site and has a wife and 4 kids to support at home. He feels so strongly that God has called him to this ministry that next month he is quitting his job, moving to Jinja, and relying completely on the Lord to provide. Godfrey is an amazing man. 

Saturday afternoon we went to The Source Cafe, an American style cafe by Lake Victoria (the source of the Nile). We also had a chance to shop at a few market shops while we were there. When we came back to Canaan that night the kids had an awesome welcome program for us. Each age group had cute songs and dances to perform. Every time we go somewhere they say, "You are most welcome here!" And they sincerely mean it. They shake your hand and hug you like you are the person that means most to them in the world. I love this culture! 

Please be praying that our team gets sleep at night. Our windows are completely open to the outside so we hear everything that goes on. There is a Muslim chanting every morning around 4 or 5 AM. To put it nicely it sounds like a dying cow amplified through a speaker system. I've never wanted to convert someone's so badly in my life...

Putting things in perspective

October 19

This morning we had the most delicious breakfast of a cheese omelette, mangos, bananas, crepes, bread, NUTELLA, French press coffee and more. It was a feast to say the least! It was hard to indulge in all of that food knowing so many kids we have seen barely are able to get by. I was Ble to get time to journal on our porch while I watch the river rapids. We packed up and headed to Canaan Children's Home. On the way their our bus driver, Abus, told us that his wife is in the hospital with malaria. He asked us if we could go to pray for her. This is a huge deal because Abus is Muslim. He has watched us all week while we have talked about Christ and prayed over the kids at the orphanage and now wanted us to pray over his wife! While at the hospital other women in the room saw us praying and wanted us to pray over them as well. 

The hospital is a bunch of buildings, open to the outside air, no air conditioner. Their IV tubing is spiked into bottles of what I'm assuming is saline with antibiotics and syringes piggy backed into the bottle. All of the fluids are manually titrated because they don't have pumps. The building we went in was the women's hospital. It was one big room filled with small beds filled with patients. Lets just say I'm so thankful for our healthcare system.

We went on a few home visits with Godfrey and Peter from Pillars of Hope. The first house, which was hardly a home, consisted of a main room and two bedrooms. The main room was big enough for about 5 people to stand in and held all of their pots and pans. There were two wasp nests in the house by one of the bedrooms. The bedroom to the left doubled as the chicken's home. Each bedroom had some wood propped up to hold the bed and was filled with other things they had acquired so you could barely walk into the room. The grandmother was the head of this household and she had taken in 5 grandchildren due to her children being deceased or mentally ill. 6 people lived in this "house" that is smaller than my bedroom my apartment. That put things into perspective for me really quick.

We got to Canaan last night and the kids were so excited to see us. They hold your hand like they are scared to let go. If they only knew I would hold on forever if I could. There are so many hands to hold and kids to hug that if I had 10 arms it would not be enough to love these kids the way I want to. 

My prayer is that God continues to be glorified through our hand holding, song singing, hug giving, game playing and love. 

Cruising on the Nile

October 18

Today we packed up, checked out of the Tick Hotel and made our way to Jinja. The ride was long because of the traffic but it was beautiful as we got into the country. There were miles and miles of tea, corn and sugar fields. We stopped at a gas station to use the bathroom and got a lot of American treats. I got a Snickers and a Coke Zero and it was amazing. Then we got to The Haven, which I think should be called Heaven. It sits on the Nile river and it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been! We had lunch and then took a cruise on the Nile. I never thought at would be able to say that! We saw a lot of cool birds on the way. Some people saw monkeys but we were not that lucky. We were really hoping to see a hippo or crocodile but apparently they are more rare here than we thought.

Our house had two stories and slept up to 5 people. We had 4 girls so it was pretty roomy. We sat on our porch while we talked and colored pictures. It was so simple and so relaxing. I took a shower while I watched the sunset and was so excited to use a clean looking towel (the Tick did not have the cleanest towels I've ever seen). I opened the towel and out came a roach and little beetle. ahhh! Before I went into the shower I told the girls that if I screamed it probably  meant a gecko fell on me. I did not see that coming! We ate dinner outside by the river and then had worship under the stars. It was so beautiful. I didn't realize how much I miss seeing stars! We fell asleep to the sounds of the rapids of the Nile and woke up to the rooster crowing next door.

God is teaching me a lot and opening my eyes to new things every day. Please continue to pray for our team as many people here are having a tough time processing the things we have seen and experienced. Although it is all hard to take in, we ultimately know that our God is able to overcome more than we can ask or imagine. 

All my fountains...

October 17

I'm not sure that I can adequately describe what we experienced today through a blog, but it was so incredible that I will try. Christy and George (from Ekubo) had a group visit their ministry awhile back. There was a 9 year old boy in the group who, with his parents, helped fill jerrycans for the village. This included walking two miles each way to a muddy pond. Jack was so moved by his experience that he went home and raised money for this village to have their own well. Jack and his family have now raised money for almost two wells! 

Today we were invited to the village to be a part of their ceremony for opening the well! Their was dancing, singing, and so much joy. We watched the smiles on people's faces as they excitedly splashed clean water on themselves for the first time in their lives. The kids were fighting over WATER. In the states we raise money all of the time for clean water and wells in Africa. Today I was able to see this come to life. Because of this well an entire village will have less infections, less parasites, and a bit of an improved quality of life. 

The most amazing part of today was seeing how the people truly know The Lord has provided. They know that it is through Him alone that a 9 year old boy was able to have this vision come to life. They know that they need this water to live, but they also have an unquenchable thirst for the Lord. 

We went to Ekubo for lunch and then had to say goodbye to the kids. It is so hard to say bye, even after only three days. We are lifting this ministry up in prayer and trusting that God will provide all their needs. 

Come, living water, all my fountains are in you!

Ekubo

October 16

I was overwhelmed by the welcome we got at Ekubo. Until then I had been caught up in our traveling and wasn't able to be really excited about the trip because it seemed like we would never get to a ministry site. All of those feelings quickly disappeared when we stepped out onto Ekubo's land. We immediately felt the Lord's presence and experienced Him through the smiles and laughter of his children. Today at Ekubo the nurses on our team got to go to the clinic and help their nurse David see some kids. One child had malaria and others coughs and fevers. We drained a significant amount of pus from a baby's finger who had a bad infection. In the afternoon we played with the kids. They are so content with standing around and holding your hand. They told us thst the kids prsy for the muzungus (white people) to come. In the afternoon I helped pump water for Ekubo and for a village woman that came to the bore hole. Last night we had a great debriefing and were able to start to process a lot of difficult things we have seen.  

My bed broke last night so I pretty much slept in trendelenburg. Haha :) at least I know blood is flowing to my brain this morning! 

My heart is happy

October 14

We landed in Ethiopia at 6:40 am. Our flight was pretty uneventful. I took a few naps, watched Rock of Ages (which was not mission trip appropriate but has a great soundtrack!) and ate a lot. We first had a full meal of a roast, pasta salad, bread and yummy cake. Next we had lunch, grilled veggies on a pita. Last

 we had breakfast, a cheese omelette, potatoes, fruit and coffee. They made sure we did not go hungry on that flight!

The plane had maps that I was a little over excited about. It showed landmarks like where the Titanic sank. Very cool. I sat next to a man that was from Ethiopia but lives outside of Atlanta. He was excited to answer all of my questions about Africa!

Our flight to Uganda included yet another meal. I'm going to be fat when I get home! We got to our hotel and settled in. We had dinner there that included rice, beef, spaghetti noodles, potatoes and really good bread that I have yet to understand the name of. At dinner our trip leaders (Sarah and Bill) had their sponsor children visit. A guy named Patrick came with them and we talked for a long time because he had been at Passion Kampala!  We slept from 8:30 to 7. Everyone was exhausted from traveling. 

  October 15

Today my heart is happy. This morning we had breakfast and checked out of our hotel. We piled in the van and went to exchange money, get water, and check into our new hotel for the week (the Tick Hotel). It took us a very long time to get there because traffic is horrendous. If you thought Atlanta has bad traffic planning you'd love it compared to Kampala! We then headed up to Ekubo ministries. The ride was filled with a lot of bumpy dirt roads but luckily I didn't get sick!

We were welcomed by the sweetest, most enthusiastic group of kids I have ever seen. They formed long lines along the road and while we walked up to their property they sang and laughed and waved their tree branches to welcome us. We helped serve lunch and then had an afternoon filled with traditional Ugandan songs and dancing. It was amazing how well those kids could dance and play drums! They are currently trying to get to the US to perform so if you would like to host them, they need it! 

Tomorrow we will go back and help them in the clinic, school and at their baby home. This ministry is still building itself and has several needs including a roof for a hospital, a fence for their baby home, sponsorships for 45 kids, and to become a registered nonprofit (501c3).

If you have any interest in sponsoring a child, please pray about this opportunity and visit their website at www.ekuboministries.org 

Day -12!

Hi friends and family!

I have been told that I need a blog so that people can keep up with my journey on this trip to Uganda. I cannot promise it will be the most witty or creative thing you have ever read, but I hope that you will be moved by seeing what God is doing in this country.

Thank you for all of your financial and prayer support in the past few weeks and months. I have been incredibly blessed by each of you and it means so much that all of you helped me go on this trip. This is something I have felt called to for several years and it's been amazing to see how God has brought me to this trip.

I will update this blog as much as possible. The first week that we are there we will be visiting several different ministry sites and staying in a hotel. We will have access to internet on a fairly regular basis so I will be able to update you all on our journey. The second week we will be staying in at Canaan Children's Home. I'm not sure what our access to internet will be like but since we will be with the kids 24/7 we will be a little busier.

Here are a few things you can be praying for right now:

-safe travels
-team unity
-pure hearts, clear minds and good attitudes
-we would follow the Lord's direction in everything we do
-our hearts will be impacted by the people we encounter
-our lives will be changed forever and that we will never forget what we experience there
-I will be able to suppress the urge to come back with a cute Ugandan baby!

So that last one was (kind of) a joke, but the rest are going to be vital to our trip. You can also be praying for each ministry site we will visit. I have posted links at the bottom of the page to the ministries that have websites. The others include the Sangaalo baby home and the Karamojong women.

Thank you again for being by my side on this exciting journey!!

Ashley

Ekubo http://www.ekuboministries.org/
Pillars of Hope http://pillarsofhopeuganda.com/
Canaan Children's Home http://canaanchildrenshome.org/
Ekisa http://www.ekisa.org/

Stella at Canaan Children's Home